I tried to convince my wife to quit our jobs and just travel the world until we went broke.

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by closequarters, Oct 12, 2018 at 1:00 AM.

  1. closequarters

    closequarters Purple Belt

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    Wife and I are approaching 40. No kids. Not sure if we’re having any. Looks like the window on that is closing. We aren’t pushing to have kids but if it happens, cool. Plenty of friends and family around. We try to stay busy. Go on vacation out of town a few times a year. Go out for dinner a few times a month. Workout a few times a week. Golf a couple times a month. She goes to yoga and I go to jiu jitsu. We stay pretty active, but....

    Last week I woke up from a pretty lucid dream that we were in Rome with just our backpacks. We had just crossed the states from CA to Maine and onto England. Went to France and Spain and were now at the Vatican. Our next stop was going to be the Orients. We were having the time of our lives.

    I woke up that day really dreading going into the office and sitting at a desk for 8 hours. I told my wife about my dream and said, life is half over. Let’s finish the second half on adventures. She laughed and said take the day off but kill all that ‘backpacking the world’ talk. I called in sick and went golfing.

    Since that dream, I still can’t wrap my mind around jockeying a desk for another 20-25 years. Then retiring in my late 50s or early 60s doing regular old people shit. Going to kid’s birthday parties, walks through the park. The occasional visits to relatives. Having game nights with our old ass friends.

    Wife and I probably have enough money to hit the road for the next 20-30 years if we liquidated everything we own. Anyways, I know it won’t happen but the thought of having just about 30-40 years of life left and choosing to not go see the whole world seems like a waste of a life. If I was single, there may be a good chance I bounce out. But I love my wife and rather live a regular life with her than travel alone.

    Anyways, I can’t sleep and I’m just rambling now. I think I’ll call in sick tomorrow and go golfing.
     
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  2. Estemachine

    Estemachine Silver Belt

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    You should try to convince her, again.

    You only live once, and you have a good point. I mean what's the point of living a life that isn't living up to your full potential. You deserve nothing less than spectacular, you already have a partner to go along with you.

    Maybe try to meet her in the middle, but your idea seems like something meaningful. Bills, jobs, routine, who really says we have to live that lifestyle?
     
  3. Phlog

    Phlog Dad Belt

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    I think your sentiment is right, but you need to work on your plan.

    Healthcare, it's going to be an issue. What if one of you gets ill and can't travel easily, what would be your escape plan etc.

    Have you considered starting a business that involves your hobby? My cousin runs golfing holidays and gets to go on them with everyone! She golf's all over the world in the most prestigious spots on other people's dime.
     
  4. xcvbn

    xcvbn Silver Belt Platinum Member

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    Who says it has to be all or nothing? If you can afford to travel for 2 decades with the cash+assets you have, why not travel for 6 months? Maybe 1 year?

    If you have decent employers in industries that aren't overly demanding it's possible to be granted extended leave in case it doesn't work out.
     
  5. Peteyandjia

    Peteyandjia Iridescent Algae Staff Member Forum Administrator Senior Moderator Administrator

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    I’m only awake right now because I dreamt I found a portal to Hell, above a cemetery crypt. So just think, it could always be worse, at least you had a nice dream.

    My advice: Schedule some occasional travel vacations together. This should not be logistically impossible, especially for a couple with no kids.
     
  6. Rhood

    Rhood Gold Belt

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    Do yourself a favor and find the biggest rave imaginable in the Netherlands and attend it with your wife.
    It's going to change your perspective about life and material possessions.
    Take some ecstasy together while you're there as well.

    I'm warning you though! Once your experience this, you'll never see life the same way again.
    It's like falling through the rabbit hole to wake up and realize the rat race in life brings you nothing but misery and isolation.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2018 at 1:26 AM
  7. SSgt Dickweed

    SSgt Dickweed Brown Belt

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  8. genecop

    genecop Black Belt

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    Dude, you had a momentary glimpse of be awakened...it’s a spiritual gift...Unfortunately your wife is asleep, and most likely will continue to sleepwalk through life..decisions must be made, one life to live...I speak from experience, I have backpacked a good portion of the world in my youth.

    Now 55 wife and I about to cash out and travel for the remainder, good luck.
     
  9. Bubzeh

    Bubzeh Fighting Brexit

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    I have those thoughts and I'm only 27. Feels bad.

    I hope you find true happiness. If you have the funds then I'd push and beg your partner and request a long period of time off work. 3 months around a continent maybe. Who knows.
     
  10. Bubzeh

    Bubzeh Fighting Brexit

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    You've described my dark days. Very dark indeed.
     
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  11. TheTimeIsNotNow

    TheTimeIsNotNow Black Belt

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    Someone has been listening to too much Joe Rogan
     
  12. Lord Palis

    Lord Palis ♔ Lord of Jameson

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    It sounds fun, but I would shoot for hitting the road for 6mos to 2 years tops... 20-30 yrs? Pipedream IMO. Don't liquidate everything, liquidate vehicles and little shit. Keep your property and AIR BNB it out while you're traveling. You'll make money and travel.

    With that said, AIRBNB is GOAT. I AIRBNB one of my properties as much as possible and it is just ridiculous easy $.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2018 at 1:45 AM
  13. ganjou234

    ganjou234 Satsui no Hado

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    Heck.....my dreams require youth....couple more years and I'll be on my 30s.... I'm wasting it here on a 10.5 hour job.....

    Have a long talk with your wife. Look at your options with travel as the main goal (like maybe you'd take on a job/business that needs traveling).

    Decide, do what needs doing. Time aint stopping for no one....
     
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  14. Blue_Lou

    Blue_Lou Orange Belt

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    This is pretty common feeling, but unfortunately few are brave enough to do anything about it.

    For me, I told myself that I didn’t want to be on my death bed and think, “Damn, I just spent my entire life in a cubicle.”
     
  15. VanteMMA

    VanteMMA Orange Belt

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    It doesn't have to be all or nothing TS.

    I think the real issue here is that you're unhappy doing what you do, or at the very least it no longer interests you like the way it should (and perhaps once did).

    This is perfectly normal. With time, people change, and the work (your job) / the goals (earning money) no longer interest you.

    I dont think you necessarily need to travel, but you DO need a new calling in life.

    Travel can definitely help you gain some perspective on that. However, I dont think travelling for the rest of your life is the solution. I have a hunch that after 3 - 6 months, you'd probably get bored of that too.

    You mentioned you did BJJ. What belt are you? If you're purple or higher, you could probably make a decent living teaching BJJ in South Asian countries. Even if teaching BJJ doesn't interest you, read the BJJ Globetrotter. Its a real life story of a BJJ Brownbelt from the Netherlands who travelled the world in 4 months living the backpackers life. I think it will give you some perspective (even if travelling for BJJ doesnt interest you).

    One more thing. Consider spending some time away from wife, perhaps on a solo trip. To keep you bond going strong, you need to not resent her and by factoring what YOU think will make her happy in every one of your life decisions is going to eventually lead you down that path of regret. You dont want that. So consider spending some time apart (perhaps doing something you wanted to do, and she didnt and vice versa for her), then discuss your future plans together with the clarity you gain in your respective life purposes.
     
  16. sfblue

    sfblue Blue Belt

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    Any time I think of doing similar to what you describe, I try to remember how hard I worked in my early 20's to get what I have now. When I run out of money, it will be time to rebuild and I can only imagine how much harder it must be at 50 or 60 years old. For those reasons I plan to wait until 50 or 60. My dad is 61 and has been retired for 10 years now, and gets to do a whole lot more than when he was working. There are often a lot of good years to be had between ages 50 and 70... and sometimes more if your health is good. I don't think it is wise to throw everything away for a trip to Italy that you can just as well take retired at age 60.
     
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  17. mushishi

    mushishi A is a, a is a, should I save her?

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    Do you own your home? Rent it out, travel for a few weeks or a month. You may end up hating it.

    Read rich dad, poor dad. Find passive income streams. Come at her with a well thought out plan and she may become more pliable.
     
  18. Ottawaguy

    Ottawaguy Gold Belt

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    I’ve been in over 40 countries and believe me I would do that in a heartbeat as I love traveling. Having said that, we’re retiring in a few years and we’re pursueing our dream retirement. Buying a small farm in the countryside, with lots of acreage for riding our ATV’s fishing etc. I can’t wait to be away from the city for good.

    We will take a 3 week cruise each winter as our compromise to settling down vs being always on the move.
     
  19. therealdope

    therealdope Steel Belt

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    AS an alternative to TS' all or nothing, here is another lifestyle you might think about.

    After I finished my ugrad degree I lived with a gf in Banff, Alberta (an idyllic touristy mountain village). We lived very cheap and enjoyed all of the outdoor activities available (skiing to mountaineering, and everything in between). There were a bunch of people in Banff who worked service McJobs for six months and then traveled 6 months. While in Banff they enjoyed all of the outdoors stuff and then would travel to south America, the Himalayas, or South East Asia.

    TBH - it was an amazing lifestyle but not for everyone. There is no planning for retirement, kids, or thinking 'what if I get sick in Nepal'. A lot of people struggle with new-ness. Showing up to a new place and having to share housing, with no guarantee of employment, is not for everyone. If you're willing to take a risk and can handle some struggle for a couple of months, you're really going to appreciate it.
     
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  20. Watcha gunna doo

    Watcha gunna doo Green Belt

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    How often do you have sex?
     
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